Raspberry Picking

I was picking wild raspberries along my road last week and was pleasantly surprised the deer and birds had left plenty for us. I was enjoying the hot afternoon excursion with two of my children. As I was reaching to pick just a couple more berries, I lost my balance and gently fell into the brush. 

My only concern was thorns and bugs. I got home, showered and thought nothing more of it. But a few days later, the telltale signs of poison ivy appeared on my arms. The itching has kept me awake and distracted me in more than a few meetings.

I've been blessedly focused on how to cope with the itching and help it heal quickly. I must admit I have thought about wearing long sleeves in the future. :)

But it wasn't always like this.

In years past, I would berate myself each time the itching interrupted me. "Why didn't you wear long sleeves? You know better than that!" or "I can't believe you didn't think about that, you weren't prepared." I could go on and on....and I used to...  Can you relate?

That's why I am so proud of staying present: I have come SO far. If I can change this internal conversation, YOU CAN TOO!

If you find yourself using SHOULD'VE in your self talk, it's time to banish this word once and for all from your vocabulary. It serves no useful purpose.

You see, should've looks backwards, into the past, to a time we have NO ability to change. 

You can gain wisdom from an experience without wishing you did it differently. Should've by definition focuses on the past with judgement.

I challenge you to start looking in the present and not behind you. When you catch yourself using this word in your head, stop and follow these simple steps to recalibrate and train your mind to stick to a more positive dialogue with yourself.

1-Recognize. Realize you are focusing on the past and beating yourself up. Awareness is the first step to create space for change. Put an alarm bell on the word "Should've."
2-Stop. Interrupt your words in your mind! Just cut them off. Nope, these words aren't OK anymore.
3-Redo. Say it a different way, do a redo, this time focusing in the present. For example, "I should've worn long sleeves" becomes "next time, I will wear long sleeves." This may seem like a minor wording change, but the results are huge and worth the effort.

It just takes focus and awareness for a week or two to interrupt this thought habit that keeps us beating ourselves up. Give it a try and you will revolutionize your self talk and be more present in your life for all the amazing experiences each day brings you.

If you feel you need help changing your conversation with yourself, check out Love Thyself, a 30 minute energy healing session that focuses on the heart and helps balance these ideas. This will amp up your ability to make lasting changes and be kind with yourself.

It's time to treat yourself as you would a dear friend. 💖